My Testimony

Before reading any further, I ask that you would click on the link and watch the video that I have posted:)

Ever feel like God is calling you to do something but you don't really want to do it? Yeah. That has been me all week. Earlier this week God was calling me to share my testimony. I came up with about a hundred reasons why I shouldn't. Those reasons did not come from God, they came from satan. You see, satan does not want me to share my story with you. He does not want me to share the Gospel.

Every time this week when I told God "no"I heard this: "Courtney, I have done so much good in your life. I have brought you out of the most difficult year of your life. I have brought you out of darkness.Why would you want to keep all of that good stuff to yourself? Why are you not sharing with others what I have done in your life?! I have given you a voice, now use it!"

The word obedience has been running through my mind all week. Earlier this week in response to one of my facebook posts, someone left a simple comment that said "obedience". Here I am. Trying to be obedient to what The Lord wants.

Last week at church my Pastor shared this scripture with us. "But in your hearts revere Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have."--1Peter3:15

God has done some amazing things in my life. I would be doing you,this reader, a great dis-service if I just kept it all to myself. I am living proof that God can take a test and turn it into a testimony and a mess into a message.

In the midst of my pain, God is still good! Jesus is the anchor that holds!

 I have this hope 
As an anchor for my soul 
Through every storm 
I will hold to You 

With endless love 
All my fear is swept away 
In everything 
I will trust in You

I know I'm not alone because...

Yesterday was Youth Sunday at church. Our theme was "I know I'm not alone because..." and three of our teens shared their testimonies with the congregation. For the past 36 hours I have been pondering that statement.

I know I'm not alone because God is always with me. I gave my life to Christ when I was 6 years old during a VBS that my neighbor had invited me to attend with her. However, I did not start walking with Christ until middle school. Since surrendering my life to Christ, my life has been anything but easy. In fact, over the past 5 years there have been times when my life has been very dark.

About 4 years ago my brother passed away. During that time I became angry with God. I did a lot of questioning and asking "why?". During that time, though it was a very dark period in my life, God was still with me, carrying me through this very painful time.
"For his anger lasts only a moment, but his favor lasts a lifetime; weeping may stay for the night,but rejoicing comes in the morning"--Psalm 30:5 
God was in control, has always been in control, and will continue to be in control. Satan tried to steal my joy but he did not succeed!! "For the joy of the Lord is my strength" --Nehemiah 8:10b

I love the lyrics to Matt Redman's song "Never Once"
Standing on this mountaintop, looking just how far we've come. Knowing that for every step You were with us.
Kneeling on this battle ground. Seeing just how much You've done, knowing every victory was Your power in us.
Scars and struggles on the way. But with joy our hearts can say. Yes, our hearts can say
Never once did we ever walk alone. Never once did You leave us on our own. You are faithful.
Kneeling on this battle ground, seeing just how much You've done. Knowing every victory was Your power in us.

Dear friends, when life gets hard please remember that God is right there with you. Whatever it is that you may be facing, God has your back. He will never leave you. Even when life seems dark, painful and you are unsure, God is with you.

The dream

When we were all younger we all dreamt  of what we wanted to be when we got older. When I was little I wanted to be a ballerina, a writer/journalist and a teacher when I got older. I loved to dance when I was younger so why wouldn't I be a ballerina when I got older?That was my logic anyways.  When I was really little I swore up and down that I was going to be a teacher when I got older. I loved "playing" school with my brother when we were little. We would play school using our old school books and we would even go as far as making up our own class rosters.

As I got older, I realized that teachers do not make that much money and I told God "NO!" You see, I am really good at telling God "NO!" and avoiding what it is He actually wants me to do. Sometimes it is out of fear, and other times it is simply because I am just rebellious and I think that I can do things my own way.

In high school I really felt like God was calling me into youth ministry. I love God and teenagers, so it seemed like the perfect job for me, and maybe He really was, but about 3 years after I graduated from high school I really found out what my calling in life was.

Growing up I always loved to be around children. I loved babysitting and I loved working with our youngest children at church, whether it was in the nursery or the pre-k Sunday School classroom.

The Summer after graduation I had the opportunity to go on a mission trip to a small island in the Caribbean. While I was there our group lead a VBS and I worked with the youngest children. I think it was during that trip that God had started to plant a seed in my heart for younger children and possibly a career in teaching.

About 8 months after that trip I was still struggling and trying to decide what I wanted to do with my life. All of a sudden one night God spoke to me loud and clear! This peace came over me and I knew that I was supposed to be a teacher. I also laughed that night because for the longest time I told God "NO!" I told Him that I absolutely would NEVER be a teacher! Never tell God "NO!"

I am almost done with school (hallelujah!!) and for the first time since I began this journey a few years ago, I can honestly say that I am enjoying this semester. It hasn't always been easy this semester, but I have learned so much! I am currently observing at a center that has autistic children. I feel like God may be calling me to work with "special needs" children but at the same time that makes me a little bit nervous. (So I am asking for your prayers for discernment) Until this semester, that is something that has NEVER crossed my mind.

People are sometimes surprised when they learn that I'm an education major. Some have even gone as far as to say "I'm surprised that you aren't doing something that has to do with God or the church?!" My response to that is that my "mission field" is wherever God calls me to go. As a teacher, God has put a great calling on my life to love and care for all the children that come into my classroom. (At times that has even been a burden because my heart just hurts for some of the children that I have come in contact with) I cannot wait to graduate and start this journey as a teacher!

Please continue to pray for me as I figure out exactly what it is God wants me to do with my degree=)

"In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps"--Proverbs 16:9

End of Summer wrap-up

I am sure that I am not the only one who is asking the question, "Where did this summer go?" It seems like only yesterday it was the end of April, and I was finishing up my finals, anxiously awaiting summer. Summer officially ended for me last Thursday when classes started back up for the fall semester at Rhodes State College.

This Summer was a season of growth and trusting God for what is next in my life. I pretty much had my entire summer planned out. I had this huge bucket list of things that I wanted to accomplish and experience this Summer, but God had other plans since I was unable to check off most of what was on my bucket list. But with that being said, their was nothing boring about my summer. I spent Sunday afternoons after church at my grandparents, on their farm. I spent 3 weeks at Lakeside as a camp counselor. I spent time with my friends. I went to concerts with my best friend, and I got to meet COLTON DIXON!! My favorite part of Summer though, was probably spending the day in Cincinnati with my youth group, helping Pastor Todd with his first ever Vacation Bible School.

This Summer I've learned that as I get older it's okay to NOT have hundreds of friends. All you really need are a few good friends that you know you can always trust and count on. I can happily say that God has blessed me with a few amazing friends that I know I can always count on. These are friends that I consider lifelong friends. Friends who are willing to lift me up in prayer when I need it, hold me accountable, and build me up.

As this Summer comes to an end, I have realized that I am not the same person I was at the beginning of the Summer. Back then, I was afraid of change. I've since learned that change is a necessary part of life. If we want to grow in our walk with Christ, then change is necessary. The saying is true "If you continue to do what you've always done, you will continue to get what you've always got" As fall approaches, I am ready for all the changes that come with it.

If there is anything that I have learned this Summer, it's that I want less Courtney, and more Jesus in my life. I am ready to go out and make a difference for Christ. I've realized that there are so many people who do not know Jesus. Wherever God sends me this fall, I'm ready! Let's do this! Game on!

"Do you see what this means—all these pioneers who blazed the way, all these veterans cheering us on? It means we’d better get on with it. Strip down, start running—and never quit! No extra spiritual fat, no parasitic sins. Keep your eyes on Jesus, who both began and finished this race we’re in. Study how he did it. Because he never lost sight of where he was headed—that exhilarating finish in and with God—he could put up with anything along the way: Cross, shame, whatever. And now he’s there, in the place of honor, right alongside God. When you find yourselves flagging in your faith, go over that story again, item by item, that long litany of hostility he plowed through. That will shoot adrenaline into your souls!"--Hebrews12:1-3 the message

An open letter to the teens I serve=)

Way back when I was in high school, God told me that I would be working with middle and high school students when I was "older". In high school I didn't know exactly what that looked like, and to be honest, I still do not know exactly where God is going to lead me, but that is the beauty of trusting Him.

In the last 4 years, God has brought some amazing teenagers into my life.

My prayer for you guys is that you would continue to trust in God with everything that you have, and continue to trust Him with every aspect of your lives.God already has every detail of your lives under control.  I pray that you would continue to seek God in everything that you do, and that you would continue to grow in your Faith. Nothing makes me more happier than seeing you guys continue to grow in your walk with Christ.

I pray that you guys would trust me enough to come to me when you are facing difficult situations. I want you all to know how much I love you and I will never judge you. After all, none of us are perfect. We all sin. And I am not claiming to be perfect. It was not that long ago that I was in your shoes, walking the halls of my high school.

When you feel that I am being too hard on you, it's not because I am being mean or don't like you, It's because I love you and I know that you can do better. I want to push you to do your very best. After all, Jesus gave His very best for us when He died on the cross for us.So shouldn't we strive to do/be our very best for Jesus?

Middle school and high school can be tough at times. It's during those years that you are trying to figure out who you are. Remember that you are a child of the ONE true KING! God loves you so much, no matter what it is that you have done, will do, or are facing right now! Nothing we do can ever separate us from the love of God!

I pray that as this school year begins that you would all make good decisions. You all have the power to impact your school in a positive way for Jesus. Continue to walk with Christ and be a light for others.

I pray that your fire for Jesus does not die out. Let's keep those flames burning bright. I am so excited for what this school year is going to bring. I'm even more excited to watch you all discover Jesus in different and new ways. I love you guys so much and am constantly praying for you all. Remember, we are FAMILY!!

Under Construction Lakeside 2k13

 "I am sure that God Who began the good work in you will keep on working in you until the day Jesus Christ comes again." Philippians 1:6

So what does the above verse mean? We are all under construction. None of us are perfect, and we will never be perfect. God is constantly working in us, around us, and through us.

This summer I was blessed to once again spend 3 weeks at Lakeside. If you know anything about Lakeside, you know that it is a very peaceful community. Once you enter through the gate you can feel the presence of God. Just because you are at Lakeside does not mean that satan is not going to try and attack you. That is the complete opposite. The closer you are to Christ, the harder satan is going to try and attack you. Let me just say that satan was attacking me the entire time I was at camp.

During the first week I struggled to know where my place was. I haven't been a camper in 5 years and this was my first year as a senior counselor. After attending camp for 12 years, I finally got to be a senior counselor!  One thing that I learned was that I do not like the fact that I am getting older. I wish I could stay young forever. I also do not like change. I will avoid it at all costs. 

The first week of camp I was busy 90% of the time. The 10% that I was not busy, I was exhausted. I was exhausted physically, mentally, and spiritually. Because I was constantly on the go I had a hard time hearing from God. There were times when I was angry at God because the kids in my youth group and my friends were having these awesome God moments and I couldn't even "hear" from God. Before coming to camp I honestly thought things were going pretty well in my life. I was a generally happy person, and I tried to spend time with God on the daily. During camp though, God continued to point out many areas of my life that were just mediocre, things that I could improve on to better my relationship with God. I remember falling asleep one night in my room just crying out to God. The phrase that came to my mind repeatedly was "pruning is painful but it is often necessary!" If we want to grow in our relationship and walk with Christ, then we have to get rid of the things in our lives that are holding us back from getting closer to Christ.

During the first 2 weeks of camp our chaplain told us that the Bible is more than just a road map that we should be using to navigate through life. The Bible is a love letter from Father. I loved how Bobby kept referring to God as Father. For those of us that grew up without a loving father, that can be a hard concept to understand, but God is the ultimate Father, and He's a Father to the fatherless. We learned that sometimes we play "peek-a-boo" with God. We don't want Him to see everything that we have done, but of course He knows everything we say and sees everything we do. The enemy wants us to doubt God's goodness. When we hide from God, we begin to push people away. 

What does it mean to live in grace? "Grace space" is the ability to say to someone else "I got you". As human beings we hurt each other, but Jesus never hurts us. Grace is filling in the gap when I cannot do it! Grace is Jesus. Grace does not make people sin, but it's important that we extend grace to others. This is an area of my life that God pointed out that I need to work on. I realize that no one is perfect, but sometimes I have a hard time forgiving others. Never ponder in private what people tell you in public. 

For Junior High Lakeside we have a great group of CIT's who for the past 10 months leading up to camp have put many hours into planning junior high lakeside. Over the past 2 years we've all gotten pretty close, so close that we consider each other more than just friends, we consider each other family. The first day of camp satan was really attacking us! He knew how much we all love God, love working with each other,and junior high lakeside in general. After much prayer and a late night trip to wal-mart, things were running much smoother the next morning.I am beyond blessed to have been able to work with such an awesome group of people last week. Things have definitely changed since last year for all of us. None of us are in the same place that we were in once we left camp last year. Things are a lot different but  I love you guys so much and no matter where life takes each one of us, we will always be friends. God brought each of you into my life at just the right time. Let's continue to lift each other up in prayer as we all know that life is a journey full of ups and downs. When things get tough this year lets first remember to lean on God, but lets also remember that we are a family, so lets lean on one another to make it through the hard times.

Fearfully and wonderfully made

Can I say something to all the ladies out there that might be reading this? Ladies, you are all fearfully and wonderfully made! The Bible says so in Psalms 139:14. "I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made."
Ladies, you are royalty, and you are woman of the most High! Ephesians 2:10 says " For we are God's masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ, Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago."
You are so beautiful and God loves you sooooo much! You are 100%  special and unique. God created you the way you are for a purpose.

We all have insecurities, but when we let them get the best of us who has the power? Satan does. We can't continue to let satan play off our insecurities. I am so thankful that God does not see me the way that I see myself. I'm sure we've all picked up a magazine and thought to ourselves "Wow! I wished I looked just like her! I wish I was prettier, skinnier, taller, more athletic", and the list goes on and on. Let me repeat myself and say that God created you the way that you are for a reason. You are unique and there is not another person in this world that is exactly the same as you. Isn't that so cool? Let's be real, the girls in most of the magazines that we have all read and looked at have been photo shopped and tweaked. In real life they probably look similar to you and I. They are probably a few pounds heavier than what they would like us to all believe, and their makeup has probably been airbrushed. I'm sure we would all look just as good as them if we could have someone professionally do our hair and make up each morning before we headed out to start our day. TRUE BEAUTY comeshttp://youtu.be/-ks3R2BwyO0 from within. Don't let the world's standards bring you down or make you feel bad about yourself. "But, the Lord said to Samuel, 'Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The Lord does not look at the things man look at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart' 1 Samuel 16:7

For so long I had been believing the lie. I thought that I wasn't good enough. I thought I wasn't skinny enough, pretty enough, tall enough, tan enough, or athletic enough. God made me the way that I am for a reason and He thinks I am absolutely beautiful and to die for! (Literally) Do I like what I see in the mirror everyday? No. But even on my "ugly" days as I like to call them, God sees a beautiful masterpiece. We have got to stop comparing ourselves to other people because in the end it will only leave us empty. We will never be JUST like someone else. I think if we continue to compare ourselves to other people and we always want to be prettier, skinnier, smarter etc, then we are taking the focus off of God and putting it on ourselves and others. We don't need more people walking around trying to be a savior. We need a SAVIOR and His name is JESUS!

You don't have to be perfect! God is not mad at you....He's madly in love with you!

Ladies, You got the power because of Christ!

"God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them" Genesis 1:27